Gary & Samantha

I Choose Life!

2012-02-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

I had a hysterectomy on the 24th of January. There was a tumor inside the remaining ovary but the doctor said that it looked dead, possibly the chemo killed it! I wont find out the specifics until the 13th but its looking positive!

I did kind of freak-out in pre-op when I had to sign the "consent to sterilization" form. OK not kind of, really freaked out. I was crying and shaking as soon as they said "sterilization". It's not a fun word at all, its word that (to me) means nothing - literally there is nothing inside me...well vital organs yes, but nothing that can assist in creating life. Amazingly, once I came out of surgery and I found out that there was a tumor in the other ovary I felt (and still do) relieved it was gone.

I Choose Life!

Now I am at home recovering, I have quite a few 2-3" incisions on my belly, kind of looks like I got in a knife fight with someone. My body doesn't like the hormone replacements so hopefully we can find an alternative. I have had a migraine since getting out of the hospital. My Doctor thinks its from stress the surgery put on my body. My incisions are healing but slowly, not as fast as we hoped. Again, the doctor thinks its from stress and shock to my body. He also said that my body would be focusing on healing from the inside out, and since the surgery was aggressive its taking its sweet time to heal my incisions.

But now that its done, I am glad to have it over with and to be alive. I'm glad to move on to the next chapter (whatever it is, I just hope its happy and cancer free).

And of course I need to thank my Momma & Gary and everyone else who has helped. I really appreciate all the love and support you have given.

January, welcome!

2012-01-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

2012 is here! We have faith that this year will be better than 2011! We learned a lot, suffered a lot, and loved a lot in 2011 but we can do without the major surgery, cancer, chemo, hair loss, fatigue, stress, pain, tears, etc....

Like I said before, my surgery is on Jan 24th. I really hope that the Dr is able to perform the surgery with the Da Vinci surgical system. I am looking forward to having this done and gone! Hopefully this will take care of the wonky tumor markers and the new symptoms I have been having, similar to the last time my *other* ovary started taking up a lot more space than it should have. I have started getting cramps, bloating, having pain, and some other weird symptoms that come along with this.

I have grieved and mourned the idea of having a hysterectomy, I accept that it needs to happen and that I would rather be alive and well without all of my reproductive organs, then not live with them! I just hope that the mourning I have done for my girly parts carries over after the surgery and I can move swiftly along.

We are pretty busy around here, work, school, melt downs (mine, though I have been melt-down free for about 2 weeks) and house hunting! We found the PERFECT house in Plain City but as luck would have it, someone put in an offer the day before we were going to!!! We are [in]patiently waiting two weeks to see if the other buyers were able to purchase the house. It almost breaks our hearts to move, we love our ward, friends, and neighbors. But this former country girl needs space! And a goat! Yup I want a pygmy goat and ~~even though I may get away with having chickens here~~, I doubt I can hide a goat.

We are also looking into adoption from Mexico!!! Hopefully in June we can get the ball rolling! My aunt is graciously helping us with all the logistics. When it happens it will be a dream come true! We already have names ready to go! Also if anyone does know of anyone that has a child up for adoption, please send them our way.

We wish everyone a wonderful 2012 full of blessings, love, and happiness!

Love,
Gary, Samantha, Ben, Mossy, Petunia, Shrek, Molly, & Cookie!

The "H" word....Hysterectomy

2011-12-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

You have to know that the word "Hysterectomy" makes me cringe! Maybe its cause I'm only 27 and that's something that I associate with women older than me. But that's what I will have done on January 24th, 2012!

Yesterday we met with my surgeon who has been working very closely with my oncologist and they agreed that this would be the best course of action. My remaining ovary is growing quickly like the other one did. One option we had was just to remove the ovary but the surgeon told me that controlling my hormones with just a uterus is a nightmare and its easier to control them by having everything removed. After everything I have been through, easy sounds good to me!

The surgeon is going to try and use the Da Vinci Robot to do the surgery. Its better than laproscopic and the recovery time is cut way down! 1-3 weeks!!! It may not be possible to use the robot though because of scar tissue from my previous surgery, but he wont know until he gets in there. If he can't use the robot then he will go through the original incision and that's a 6-8 week recovery.

I have a mixture of emotions about this. I worry that I wont be considered a woman anymore, but Gary quickly squashed that by reminding me that I'm not having gender reassignment surgery, just getting some bad stuff out of me....so that worry is gone. I'm scared that I'm going to be one of those women who (after "H" words) have a mental breakdown and go nuts.

The strongest emotion I am feeling though is one of finality. Even though it was a long shot, there is no way we can have a miracle baby or give fertility treatments another shot...my genetic line ends with me! I guess Gary's ends with me too.

Please don't get me wrong we are very excited to adopt have a little family but the fact that I will never have "my own" stings a little more than I thought it would.

I know that I will get used to the idea and be grateful for what has happened. Right now my emotions are very raw and hard to comprehend.

I am so blessed to have everything I do have, so I feel selfish for being sad about this. I know it will pass, I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with it.

Check out the video of the Da Vinci Surgical System its on the right side of the page and its pretty cool!

Dr appt update

2011-10-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

This past week I had two Dr appointments... One with my surgeon and one with the oncologist. The first was with the surgeon, he did a physical exam and said it was normal...he is worried about my tumor marker levels (inhibin B), so he wants to go in and do an exploratory surgery to see if there is some cancer that the CT scans and MRI's haven't picked up. Also my liver function tests have been abnormal since the start of chemo, so he also wants to do a biopsy at the same time. But were putting off the surgery until we give a new medication some time to work. One of my other meds can cause liver abnormalities, so he switched it and were hoping that's what is causing the liver abnormalities.

My appointment with the oncologist was a little better. She wasn't so quick to send me off to get cut open. She suspects that I could have some kind of chronic infection since my spleen is also abnormal (I was put together totally wrong, apparently). So they ran tests and hopefully I will learn some more before the end of next week. She also thinks that since I still have a functioning ovary, that's why my inhibin levels are still up, because ovaries make inhibin naturally. She has ordered more blood work at the end of November and a CT scan to see if there are any differences.....so were hoping for the best!!

It has been a little hard on me the last few days though, I feel like I can't move on. We would love to start the adoption process but I don't want too until they say "Hey your in remission!" so until that day comes I'm just waiting until the next Dr appointment....

I apologize that this post hasn't been the most cheerful, but I think all this is finally getting to me, I have tried so hard to stay positive through all of this. Its a lot to deal with.

I will be back to my old self again soon...I have too! I hate being sad & worried all the time.

Its depressing ;0)

Good news!

2011-10-05T17:04:00.000-07:00

After 2 MRI's we found out that there are not any tumors in my lower back (woo hoo!) the back pain is caused by a bulged disk (I got epidural cortisone injections to help with that) and that the spot on my spleen is a vascular abnormality (something else to worry about in the future). So no cancer on those!! We are waiting on the tumor markers test, I will get the results next week. Im gonna worry about those then, I just need to relax!

Thank you to everyone for all of your wonderful thoughts and prayers, they mean so much to us. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful support system, even after this long, you all are still here for me! Thank you!!

Love you!!!

Reality

2011-09-20T16:07:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I've blogged anything. Honestly, I needed a cancer break. After I finished my last cycle I didn't want anything having to do with my diagnosis & treatment. I still despise the scarves I have to wear every day just because I feel like I have "cancer patient" written across my forehead. I need to buy one that says "Cancer Survivor!", maybe that will make it easier? Actually, one that says "Survivor" will suffice, I hate the word "cancer".

Through the last month (My last treatment was on Aug 23rd) I've come to realize that I need to come to grips with the fact that I do/did (more on that in a bit) have cancer, that I fought an awesome battle, and (hopefully) beat it. My friend at work made me get my pictures taken wearing one of my scarves (I was more than happy to skip this years faculty pictures) because I needed to be able to look back at this time. She is right (though the picture will stay buried in a photo album for years). I have a tendency to assume that if I don't think about something it will just go away and I hoped the same would happen with cancer.

But my reality is that I am dealing with this and will be for a while. On Thursday I got a call from the Dr and she said that my tumor markers went up. It could be a fluke, it could be something to be worried about. Like the last 6 months....we need more tests to figure it out. On Friday I had a CT scan and I am waiting for the Dr to call me back with the results. I will have to go in for a repeat blood test and probably a physical exam with my surgeon {yay!}. With my cancer being so rare there isn't really one test to tell us if its back, it took a myriad of tests and guesses to figure out if I even needed chemo to begin with.

I really hope I don't have to do another cycle of chemo or anything else, I'm so sick of being sick.

I want my hair to grow back and I want to get on with my life...without cancer!

Update (about 20 minutes after writing this post): The Dr called and they are worried the cancer may be in my spleen now (or maybe its a totally different cancer, I didn't think to ask). They are also worried about my Sciatica cause that could be caused by tumors and there are changes in my abdominal wall...whatever that means. So Im now scheduled for two MRI's and my port wont be coming out this week. I hate to ask this...but WHY??

Last Cycle!!

2011-08-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

I started my last cycle of chemo on Monday!!! I have two days left for this week and then two Tuesdays and as long as my blood work comes back like it has been, I AM DONE!

I can't wait until my hair starts growing again, or until I can open the fridge without gagging, or feed the dogs without running to the sink. My sense of smell is so sensitive and everything stinks to me, even I stink to me! Seriously! I think I smell like chemicals. I dont know if I really do, but smells travel with me too, so maybe Im smelling the chemo center all the way home.

I saw my surgeon on Friday and he said my incision looks good. He also had to give me some antibiotics because I keep getting ingrown hairs (my leg hair STILL hasn't stopped growing).

He also wants me to take 10-14 days off after my last chemo treatment, but HA-HA work wont allow that without me losing ALL my sick leave for the year. So we will see what happens.

On the plus side, mom has been here for about a week and a half and it has been such a blessing having her here. She has helped so much, the dogs are even wanting to hang out with her instead of me and Gary. I love having my mom with me. She needs to retire so she can move up here with me :0)

Ring, ring, ring, ring.....

2011-08-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

(I wrote this a couple weeks ago and just decided to post it. I wasn't sure because of the infertility stuff)

The ringing could and probably will go on and on....its a side effect of the Cisplatin, one of my chemo drugs. And of course I have to get one of the "rare" side effects that most people do not experience....ringing in my ears, which can lead to high frequency hearing loss. Im going to have to talk to my Dr about this before my next round of chemo. Hearing loss runs in the family and I really hope it doesn't happen to me.

Other than that annoying side effect, the usual ones are still present, my nausea accompanies me most mornings, Im still always tired, and super achy from the Neulasta shot.

One thing that has been on my mind lately is that of my fertility (or infertility). Since I have one ovary left the Dr said conception would still be possible (before chemo). Now, two of my chemo drugs can cause chemo induced menopause. I wont know for about 6 months if my remaining ovary has any function. My Dr has attempted to "shut down" my ovary by having me take birth control during my chemo treatments. She didnt sound very confident when we devised this plan but were hoping.

Im not really hoping that it still works just to concieve, but more so I can be "normal". Everything has been so abnormal and rare for me that it would be great to just have something go right. If I can't have my own kiddos, totally ok with that!! I've had more than enough adoption experience to know that "blood" doesn't make a family. I have a wonderful family and some of our brood is adopted. Im not looking forward to the emotional roller coaster that comes with adoption, but in the end it will all work out.

where oh where has my energy gone?

2011-07-19T21:10:00.000-07:00

Day 23

My 2nd chemo cycle started yesterday. Not the most fun place to be, but its gotta be done. I didn't blog at all last week because I had to have my head shaved and I was soooo depressed for a few (okay, most of the week) days. We did buy a wig for me. It looks like my hair before I cut it short for the beginning of chemo. So I feel comfortable with it, but its hot so I only wear it when I know Im going to be in an air conditioned room. I have a hard time dealing with people staring at me when Im wearing a scarf or one of my hats. I hope I didnt do that to people before I had to go through this, I will make sure I dont.

Im ok with it now, I don't like it at all but I can deal. I know it will grow back 6 weeks after my last chemo treatment. One bummer, my leg hair hasn't stopped growing....seriously chemo?!?!

Ta-Da! me with my new do'!

With this new cycle I have found that I have zero energy. I am asleep or trying to sleep the entire time while sitting there during my 6-7 hour treatments. When I get home I want to sleep (and do). Today though, I made an effort to get my butt outa bed. I took Ben and Mossy for 15 minute walks each (I do not have the strength to take them together). It was nice to get out and move a little. I haven't had a lot of nausea yet, which I am thankful for. My appetite comes and goes though. One of the weird side effects I have had is extremely dry lips and mouth, I am constantly applying chapstick and drinking water or I have a hard candy in my mouth. Its pretty annoying.

Overall, I think I am coping ok. I am so thankful for everyone who has helped us. My mom-in-law drives me to chemo most days of the week when she doesn't, my dear friend Zennetta does. Gary has been wonderful to keep the house picked up, along with work, and his outside chores. And all my wonderful friends and neighbors who have brought dinner to us, THANK YOU!!! The dinners help out so much because I can't cook during my chemo weeks and a few days after, I guess I could try but we would be eating mac n cheese every night. So thank you, it is so appreciated.

Also, a special thanks to my cousin Lucas and my little brother Jimmy. Lucas shaved his head in my honor at his wedding (!!) over the weekend. I hope I get the video soon because I am so anxious to see everything I missed. I wanted to go so bad but Dr said I couldn't be around that many people on a plane or at the wedding, so we went camping instead. My brother did it yesterday and it meant so much to me. I feel so loved by both of these wonderful men in my family. I love you Luke and Bo (short for Jimbo)!! You two mean so much to me, I love you so much and I can't wait to see you when all of this is over!

Blessing for the day: Everything really, I feel very blessed to have such wonderful family and friends.

Day 13

2011-07-10T18:57:00.000-07:00

Guess what? Its finally happening, I am losing my hair. I can't even pretend to be happy about this cause this is one of the worst things yet! I woke up to find a couple strands on my pillow, after my shower more than normal came out and I have been shedding throughout the day. My head is also very itchy, I am assuming it has something to do with the hair follicles giving up since my body isn't making any new hair.

I am really bummed about this. I have made the decision to buy a wig, it wont look like my hair before, maybe more like my hair now. I don't think I will wear it every day, but I don't yet have the courage to step into a restaurant or store wearing a scarf.

Gary keeps saying we're going to have a head shaving party...I guess that will happen within the next week or so.

This sucks.

Who's bones are these?

2011-07-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

It seems that I am finally having some sort of reaction to the neulasta shot (or else I just developed arthritis all of a sudden?) Since getting the shot I have been having some mild pain on the back of my hips (I guess that's my lower back huh?) and my shoulder blades. The pain has been tolerable and I haven't needed to take anything for it. Well, this morning I woke up with the worst body aches EVER! Everything from my ankles to my jaw hurts. I want to take a bath in Bengay! I have just taken Ibuprofin, I'm waiting for the nurse to call me back and I wont be opposed to something that will knock me out for 3-4 days.

So far that is the only major physical thing I have had happen to me, emotionally....is another story. I don't see myself in the mirror, I'm not crazy, I just don't see me. I don't like my short hair, my puffy face, my sunk in eyes, the circles around my eyes. Ive always thought that my eyes were my best feature, I love my eyes! They are wonderful eyes, they allow me to see, but they are also the only part of me that look just like my moms -love my eyes! But lately I dont see myself in the mirror, I feel very blessed most days to be as lucky as I am, but I feel like this illness has finally taken over my body cause I dont look like how I feel (most days). I am rambling and I dont think I make any sense mostly because I'm still dreaming of that Bengay filled bathtub....

Blessing for the day: My eyes :0)

Dream baby

2011-07-04T05:44:00.000-07:00

I just woke up. I don't really know if I should be posting a blog about this, but I had the most amazing dream. Most of my friends and family are aware of all the pain and suffering we have had to deal with because of infertility, and then came the sad experience we had with foster care. The news that chemo might wipe out my remaining ovary wasn't a shock, but it was still very sad to hear. The fact that it might have to come out in the future because of whatever damage is done to it because of my Polycystic ovary syndrome, cancer, or chemo wasn't a shock either, just sucked to hear.

We have come to the conclusion that adoption will probably be the way we build our family. Neither of us have an issue with that, I just always dreamed of having "red headed Mexican babies" with Gary. I let go the notion of that little ideal baby in my head a long time ago. Adoption can be and is a wonderful thing, I have some beautiful people in my family because of adoption and would never ever trade them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I'm really looking forward to our future and I can't wait to meet my little kiddos. I just started chemo but starting my day today with such a calm feeling about all of this, shows me that, my plan isn't the only one I need to consider.

So onto my dream; it was a quick one, and I may have made it go quicker, I was so happy I woke up with a smile!! Its a little weird but bare with me.....

I had a little baby in my arms that I was playing with on a merry-go-round (hey its a dream, babies play on merry-go-rounds in dreams....he could talk too!) We (my baby and I) were playing with my cousin and her little girl. Of course I was so happy and filled with joy that me and dream baby were together. We talked about how great it was to have him with me and how he was so loved and the most wanted baby in the world....Then a school bus came. I asked the baby if he was ready to go back. Baby said "will you be done by the time I come back?" and I told him that I would be (I knew he was talking about my chemo), and when he came back he would be with us forever. I put him in a car seat on the bus and he waved to me, smiled, said "see you in a little while" and fell asleep. I waved him off and went off into my house to finish up what I had to do. This would normally make a sad ending to dream but it gives me hope.

If your wondering why I feel the need to share this, well its mostly for me to remember this amazing dream I had because I really do believe I have a child somewhere out there. Whether s/he is here yet or not I will get to see him or her again and I hope soon. But all in Gods time. That is a concept I struggle with, letting Him work in my life the way it needs to happen not the way I want or expect it to happen.

So to my little (one-day) baby, I love you and I will see you soon, as soon as I can.

Chemo update: I had my Neulasta injection on Saturday. The shot wasn't bad and I am so happy to say that I didn't have the terrible achy bones side effect. I am a little sore on my hips and shoulder blades but nothing like I thought I would be. It just made me extremely tired. I have probably been asleep over 80% of Saturday & Sunday. My nausea has been the worst it has been too. We had every intention of staying at church yesterday but after about 20 minutes I thought I was going to be sick. I wanted to stay for the sacrament so I made it, but that tiny cup of water almost sent me running to the bathroom. Last night, a weird twist, I couldn't get enough to eat, I was so hungry! I ate so much roast beef, I don't understand where all this hunger came from. But the food was welcome, I was able to sleep last night ALL night without waking up.

Happy 4th of July everyone!!!

Tomorrow I go in for my Bleo & benadryl, ugh more chemo.

Almost at the end of Day 5

2011-07-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

I'm almost outa here!

(for a little while, anyways)

I am on my last bag of chemo for the day! Today my nausea has taken over and for the first time I had a hard time eating lunch. I wish I could survive on Cristal Light and Peanut Butter crackers. This has been a long week, one of the longest of my life. So much has happened, we have made so many changes, learned new information, felt love from so many people, and made a few new friends.

This is my IV "tree" this is all the meds I get on a "normal" day, minus the one that I need to finish out my day

Tomorrow I have to go to LDS hospital to get my Neulasta shot. That's the one that sends immature white blood cells into my body from my bone marrow, causing me intense joint pain (hooray!) But I need those little boogers to come out and fight whatever infections I may encounter, so bring on the percocet! (Just kidding, my nurse gave me very explicit instructions to start with Tylenol, that's what I will do :0)

Other than being very tired, disgusted with most of my favorite foods, and having a killer headache 24/7. This week has been OK.

I am so overwhelmed at the people in our lives. We love you all thank you for the support, love, and prayers.

Blessing for the day: I made it through the week without having an emotional breakdown. And that is thanks to my wonderful support group. Gary, Mom, Mom (Wanda), Zennetta, Grant, Dad, Amber, Britton, & All of my wonderful friends, cousins, aunts, & uncles who keep calling me daily,giving me tons of love and encouragement. I love you all thank you so much!

Day 4

2011-06-30T16:35:00.000-07:00

One more day to go!

Well to finish out this week. Then on Saturday I will get a shot called neulasta (or something like that), that shot will send out immature white blood cells from my bone marrow into my body! Apparently its a very painful 3-4 days afterwards, but I need white blood cells to fight off any infections I might be getting. So As long as we have some pain meds, hopefully we can fight off some of the pain.

Then I will go in on Tuesday again for my benadryl, renidaline, and bleomycin infusion. That should only take about an hour to hour and a half, I am thankful for that.

My nausea has been worse today, but luckily no throwing up yet. Just a lot of dry-heaving. I have had a killer headache all day though, I'm trying to drink lots of stuff and stay up on my Tylenol, but it isn't going away.

I was able to go out and eat (if you call picking at a meatball sandwich, eating) with some friends after chemo today, it was nice to be around people that make me smile and have a somewhat twisted sense of humor like me:0) Thank you for my blanket and goodies, I appreciate everything so much!

Nothing too exciting happened at the chemo clinic today, which I am thankful for. I did get to see a variety of chemo today that other people were being administered. Some were brown, and some were bright red! Kind of interesting, since the most interesting one I have sometimes foams at the top, which makes Gary say that they are flushing me out with Tide!

Blessing for the day: GinGins they are a wonderful little candy that are kinda spicy and not very sweet. They take the nausea away for a little while too, thank you GinGins for being such a big help :0)

I know that this isn't a very thoughtful blessing, but on my first day of serious nausea they really were to me. Besos for everyone!

Day 3

2011-06-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

I am surprised I feel as good as I do. I'm going to take advantage of it though, while it lasts. Actually, I hope I am one of the ones that beats the odds and has minimal side effects, but even if I don't and things do get worse I will deal with each side effect as it comes. So far the medication I have been given has been taking care of the nausea pretty well. This morning was the worst for me so far, I didn't think I was going to be able to swallow my anti-nausea pill. But I did and was able to eat my yogurt and 1/2 PB&J.

Speaking of food, I found out today that I have to try my best to not lose any weight (WTH?!?!). I thought that this would be the only pleasant side-effect I would get! But my nurse explained to me that the chemo amount and mixture is based on kilograms, so if I start losing a lot of weight, I will be getting less chemo but still have the same amount of cancer cells. Kind of a catch 22. While researching this little dilemma I found out that weight gain is also a side effect because of all the steroids I will be getting! Exercise is also important during chemo, so Gary and I have been going for walks around the block, or (since its raining today) I did 20 minutes on the Wii. I am exhausted, but at least I got that exercise in...yeah I know 20 mins isn't a lot but when I have at least 2-3 liters of poisonous chemicals in my body, that's about all I can handle.

Things got a little scary in the chemo room today, an older gentleman was getting his chemo and after being started on a very low dose he started to get Rigors (intense shaking and cold feeling) the nurse and Dr took great care of him during this time and called the paramedics. But it broke my heart to hear him go through that. It also made things very real, I realize that I have been very lucky so far not to suffer any dramatic side effects, but it can change, depending on the day and how my body is coping. Another woman who was sitting next to me, had to go home because her platelet levels were too low, she can't have chemo until next week if her levels are OK. I quickly researched on how to keep my platelet levels up, other than eating whole foods there isn't much I can do. So I hope I'm getting enough nutrients in, I guess I need to research what kind of nutrients I'm getting in peanut butter crackers!

We found out today that I have to pay a co-pay every time I go in for treatment or see the Dr. we weren't expecting this, but we will manage.

Gary and I went to buy food for the boys, it makes me a little sad that my kiddos (dogs) are staying away from me, I wonder if I smell different to them, or if they just sense that I cant really touch them too much? When we got home I made the bed, tea, and cleaned out the fridge (not well, but just threw away old food). Now I'm just resting. I am tired but ancy (a steroid side effect).

Blessing for the day: Love, its all around us. I can feel it with every ones phone calls, heart felt messages, and encouragement. Thank you.

Day 2

2011-06-29T07:05:00.000-07:00

I'm a little late posting about my second day.

Things started out great when I got there and most of the day was pretty uneventful. Then came the test dose of the Bleomycin it was only 2 IU's. The reason there is a test dose to see if the patient has an allergic reaction (I guess lots of people do) my right cheek immediately flushed and was very hot to the touch, so then came the benadrly(sp) and renalyn (sp) drip. That knocked me out. So luckily I slept through out the entire bleo drip and didn't have to be awake to feel my cheek sear.

Finally I got to go home, I decided yesterday morning I was going to cut my hair...short. So I got a short A-line bob thing, that I hate. But at least when my hair starts falling out it wont be terrible. I wont have to feel long strands of my once beautiful hair coming out in clumps. I will eventually shave it, but I'm trying to postpone that!

People keep asking my how I feel, other than the side effects I guess I feel OK, I am sad about the whole thing, there is always a "what-if" to worry about. Mostly I feel like I'm a huge imposition on those around me. Gary is my angel and worries so much about me, but he's losing sleep and I don't like him feeling this way. I wish I could make him feel better.

I want to look for a blessing every day, even if its just a small one, and yesterdays was my nurse, Debbie, she made me smile all day and then gave me a hug at the end of my treatment, she doesn't know it, but it meant so much. So have everyone's hugs (bring 'em on!) they make me feel better :0)

Treatment Plan

2011-06-27T16:19:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day of chemo. It wasn't as bad as I had expected, but I hear as the treatment goes on I will feel worse. We got there at 9:00 and after our "chemo class" I was started on an anti-nausea drip, then some steroids (I think), a potassium & magnesium drip, then I got my first "chemo" which is called Cisplatnin, after that I got Etoposide, then some heparin and I was finally able to come home. We got home about 4:30 so it was a really long day. Tomorrow I get to add Bleomycin to my "cocktail". The Bleo will only be once a week on Tuesdays though, so that's a good thing.

  I will have to complete 3-4 "cycles" and a cycle is:
5 days of chemotherapy with the Bleo infusion on Tuesday. Then I get two weeks off, but I still get the Bleo every Tuesday. So this process is going to take 9-12 weeks. I will lose my hair (I'm still dealing with that issue, but I'll have to accept it eventually!). And I will have the typical nausea and fatigue side effects. The anti-nausea infusion I got today seems to be working OK. I did have to take a pill on the way home, but bright light seems to affect me, kinda like when I have a migraine, so I don't know if my nausea on the way home was from the bright sun or just a reaction to the meds or both.

   I was finally provided with some "normal people" information about my cancer. Check out this link. Then the "kind" of sex-cord-stromal-tumor I had was the Serolli Cell Tumor My oncologist said that she has only read about 6-10 women having that particular one. Its so weird how I had almost every single one of the "Signs & Symptoms" listed.

   Even though this seems like its going to be a rough road, I am sure I will make it through and hopefully be better than ever! I hope the 3 people that read this don't mind that I will be posting more than I usually do. I want to keep a journal on how I'm feeling and what is happening in our lives during all of this.

Its so weird how fast it has affected what I want to eat and drink, and I just started this morning. I drank a Sprite and all I could taste was the carbonated water. Crackers with Peanut Butter and Pretzel sticks with Mozzarella tasted so divine! Also Lime Tootsie Rolls were delicious! I keep telling Gary I want BBQ, so we'll see if I still want some when he gets around to smoking a turkey or roast. I might just have to have him drive down to Goodwood and get me some! Orange,vanilla, and Lemon Tootsie Rolls tasted horribly sweet. I guess time will tell what I want and don't want.

Well, I'm off to make a log of my medication cause I have a lot more now!!

Ahh updates!

2011-06-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

So I thought I would start this off on a depressing note

{I'm that fun of a person!}

I have ovarian cancer, its super-rare and my doctors are unsure how to treat me.

The good news now!!

I am only at stage 1! My surgery was a success. The Dr removed my right ovary/tumor which was the size of a football. I have a nice 12" incision down my belly and has given me nothing but issues, but I am glad that is my only issue after surgery. My 3 day stay in the hospital turned into a 7 day stay because I kept getting infections any place they tried to put an IV in me {and they tried lots of places}.

My pathology stuff came back too, my lymph nodes, odentum (?), and some other stuff came back negative for cancer.

So all were waiting on now is to talk to the chemo therapy Dr. and then she and my oncologist will discuss if I need chemo or not. It sounds like they are leaning towards yes, as a precaution. I don't want to have it but if it keeps me with my family longer then, why not?

It has been a hard few months, and I am anxious to get this over with. The waiting is the hardest right now, I don't sleep anymore and Gary has found me zoning out a lot. I want to call it day-dreaming, but its not its more like day-nightmares, cause I can just imagine the worst (I think I get that from my Nana).

Thanks to my mom, Garbear, and my good friend Zennetta for being awesome and helping me with everything!! I love you all and couldn't have made it through the last few months without you and your generous help.

Moms Day!

2011-05-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Mothers Day!

Mom, Nana, & Me

Mom & Me at Temple Square

My mom and my Nana are two of the most important people in my life. They have taught me so much, and have always shown me so much love. I wouldn't be "me" without them. I only hope I can become so much more like them as I learn more from them.

Las quiero mucho!

Whats been going on here...

2011-04-30T06:20:00.000-07:00

After posting last night I realized I haven't posted since January! It's not that there hasn't been anything to say, but time and energy run low most days for me.

In January I had that awesome stomach flu...that was fun.

In February I had an ear infection, Sinus infection, Strep throat, Bronchitis, and I got diagnosed with Asthma...still kinda fun.

In March I went to my gyn for my annual and a 13cm cyst was found on my right ovary, they gave me birth control to see if the hormones would shrink it. After over a month and three other appointments it only got larger and more solid. I saw a different doctor who wanted to operate as soon as he got my blood work back and MRI back. Well, he did get all the stuff back, but now the "mass" is mostly solid and no longer a cyst. It has its own blood supply. It is 15 cm X 13 cm X 11.2 cm....not so much fun.

On Monday I have an appointment with an gynecological oncologist, my blood tests came back negative for cancer, but they say there is always a chance because it is changing so rapidly....this really sucks.

Soooo, this is where I'm at.

My sweet Garbear has been doing what he can to make me feel better, but he is worried and it's taking his toll. He looks very stressed, so me sick + work stress isn't a good combination for him, but Im so thankful for him.

Coupons!

2011-04-29T19:49:00.001-07:00

Gary and I have decided to start incorporating coupons when we shop, its a little time consuming but we have already seen some awesome savings. Nothing that's worthy of a coupon TV show, but good for us. Last weekend we went to Smiths, with my list and coupons in hand we shopped (three separate transactions!!). My total bill was $106 and we ended up paying $32.

Then today I went to walgreens and got two bottles of Purex Crystals fabric Softener (reg $5.99 each) and eight bags of Butterfinger Snackers (reg $0.89 each). My total savings was over $16. I paid $6.04!!!

Happy 2011!

2011-01-08T20:47:00.000-08:00

We hope that it is the best year that you ever have!

And that the next one is even better!!

Were looking forward to a lot this year and pray it will all work out.

A few things to celebrate in 2011:

We'll be married half a decade in August!

I am finally going to decorate the house...I will!

I am going to graduate...it's 'bout time!

Gary is already doing great things with his woodworking and he has lots of projects planned!

And hopefully we'll get to go to Florida this summer!

and Im sure there will be many more things to come!!

Happy 2011!

Christmas time was here.....

2011-01-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

Let me start by explaining why I was dreading Christmas so much:

My family in New Mexico always has a big dinner/get-together on Christmas Eve at my grandparents house.

Gary's family doesn't.

Christmas day everyone goes to my grandparents again to finish off the left overs and just hang out for a while.

Gary's family doesn't.

I always go day-after-Christmas shopping with my mom.

She was in New Mexico.

To top it all off, I kept imagining how different my house would be if we had two little feet running around trying to take ornaments off the tree and making general toddler trouble.

But he is with his family now.

OK, so now the good part!

I was determined to make Christmas Eve a little like Grandmas, so I put Tamales on the stove to cook. We also had cookies and sparkling grape juice!

My mom, knowing how upset I was, called to assure me that I wasn't missing much, and that most of the family had gone down to Grandmas for Thanksgiving (which I got to see!) so they were spending Christmas Eve with their other families.

Instead of seeing everyone in one house, Gary and I traveled to his families houses and visited a while with everybody.

1st we went to his sisters house. We visited with her and the kids, we also dropped off their gifts (I heard they were a hit on Christmas morning! (Yay Aunt Sam!!))

We went and visited Grandpa & Uncle Lee. Gary's cousins Ashlee (and Chase) & AJ were there, as well as his Aunt & Uncle. It was really nice seeing people we don't see very often.

Then we visited his mom & dad, who we see all the time, but it was still nice.

We came home and enjoyed our quasi-New Mexico Christmas Eve!

On Christmas Morning we exchanged gifts (Santa was good to us this year!!), got ready and went to Gary's dads house.

There was yummy food (and a delicious punch I need the recipe for), Gary's Sisters & Brother and all their kiddos. While we ate everyone laughed and had fun, then came the presents! Gary and I got some cool stuff along with stockings for the dogs (they are so spoiled by their Grandpa Grant).

While everyone was opening presents I got a little sad and teared up a bit at the fact that we were a family of two sitting in our little area, while every other little family there had at least four. Seeing all the kids unwrap their presents and show their parents, I kept wondering "what if?".

But I also realized that I am very blessed in my own right, I have a wonderful husband who sat with me through those tears and tried to cheer me up, he also made sure I was busy the rest of the day to keep my mind off stuff. My niece Abbi made my day when she only wanted Aunt Sam to fix her hair and shared her Dolly with me. Later in the day at Grandpas house, Gary's Aunt Gail made me laugh, I met his cousins Cody's wife, Janelle, and she is so nice! We had a great time visiting with them.

That night we came home to our cute little house, even though it was quiet, I did have two 4 legged kiddos waiting to give us lots of love.

So this has been a really long post about Christmas and how much I was dreading it, and how great it turned out to be...sorry so long! But it just goes to show you that sometimes you just have to give things/people/days a chance and you might be surprised!

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope it was fantastic!!

P.s. My birthday was great too!!

Thankful

2010-12-20T18:42:00.000-08:00

I'm about a month behind on posting about what I am thankful for. This has been a very trying time for our little family. I didn't tell many people about this; but we decided to try out the foster-to-adopt program, thinking that since we can't have children that we would try and add to our family this way, at least until we make some big decisions about infertility treatments and adoption.
We got a little boy the end of October, and we absolutely fell in love with him. My wonderful husband jumped right in and was the best dad I have ever seen. He fell in love instantly. The baby was 18 months and such a joy.
A week after he came into our home we found out that he was going to be taken back to him family (because of privacy stuff, I cant say anything about the family, but lets just say it was a really bad situation). This broke our hearts. I have never felt a pain like this, my arms felt empty, my house was too quiet, the dining room floor was too clean, and I didn't think I would miss hearing "the princess and the frog" in the background...all day long.
A month later DCFS called again, the baby was back in foster care, of course we said we would take him. It was a repeat of the same situation as before. Again, we had our barely mending hearts broken. So were done with foster care. I feel awful saying that, but there is no way we can do it. We want children so badly, that to have one come in and then get taken back, going through that over and over again...there is no way we could survive.

The Christmas season has been especially hard because I just keep thinking of what could have been. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel...I hope.

Even though this has all been very, very hard I do have a lot to be thankful for:

My hubby. Even though, he was hurting as much or more than I was; he was my rock. He was strong when I couldn't be and made sure I was ok.
My mom-in-law Wanda. She came over and despite her severe dog allergies, was here when they took him away.
My Mom, Nana, and Aunt Mirola; their kind, loving words and prayers made everything seem a little bit better every time I talked to them.
The little kiddo, in his short time with us he taught us so much. We never knew we could love that much and fall in love so fast. He taught us how to be a family and to lean on each other for support.
The priesthood. Words cannot describe how thankful I am that we have the priesthood in our home and in our life. The countless blessing of comfort and peace we received made it so much easier to deal with this. My dad in law and his co-workers, who valiantly gave up their time, gave us beautiful, thoughtful, and powerful blessings that got us through the next 12 hours until we reached New Mexico.
My wonderful & beautiful family in New Mexico, they surrounded us with so much love and support the second we got there.
My cousins Roberta and Criste are such sweet women, I am so blessed to have them in my life. They surrounded me with so much love, I don't how they knew I needed them to stay by my side the whole time, but they did. I can't express how much their kindness and love means to me

I keep using the word love over and over, but I don't have another word for what I felt that all these amazing people were doing for me, they were loving me, and even though that's all they could have done. It was more than enough. I have so much more to be thankful for, but this experience has taught me that I really need to value the people in my life so much more. Even though I feel alone a lot, I know that if I just reach for them, they will be there to help me through anything.

Roberta, Criste, & me.

Our new SUV!

2010-10-02T07:25:00.000-07:00

I keep wanting to call it a truck, but its not its a SUV!

And I drive it!

:0)

Im so excited!
It's not brand new, but its new to me and thats all that matters

On Monday night we went to a Dodge dealership that [1st] totally ignored us [2nd] kept trying to push cars on us that we didn't want and kept telling us that we couldnt get the car we wanted for the monthly payment we wanted (they didnt know we were putting money down) so after being ignored and lied too (I called about a specific car, when we got there they gave us the run around as to where it was), we decided to give up. John Watson Chevrolet is on the way home and was having a sale so we decided to stop there. After telling the sales guy what we (I) wanted:

4X4
Low Miles
Fit 2 dogs and {one day} a kiddo or two

He showed us the trailblazers first, and we just kept walking cause we wern't crazy about the way they looked on the outside. After showing us an awesome Equinox and realizing it was out of our price range, I agreed to look at the Trailblazers the 1st one was an '08 and it was ok, but the 2nd one had dual control A/C! It was an '09 and had all the bells and whistles. After arguing with my practical side (the '08 had 2K less miles and cost 2K less thant the '09) we decided to take the newer one for a test drive. It was really fun and we decided to take it! I love love love the dual control ac/heater (that eliminates the argument that always happens on trips, I want cold, Gary wants warm), leather seats, and all kindsa cool stuff. Plus it meets all my requirements!
And it helped that we had an awesome non-pushy sales guy (but he also didnt ignore us).

P.S. to the dodge dealership...we ended up spending more than we planned on and still got the payment we wanted!!

Mossy!

2010-08-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

At the end of June we took a trip to New Mexico to hang out with my Nana & Papo. Nana had just had shoulder surgery and my mom and aunt were in need of some respite time since they were mainly the ones taking care of Nana and the house after the surgery.

I left a pillow on the floor...he quickly found a new bed.

Mossy is the newest member of the Elliott clan, he is a lab/pit/whatever mix. I was dead set against another dog (especially one that was part pit). Gary had been talking about getting another one for a while now. Well, when we got to New Mexico my Papo's dog had just had a litter of 12 pups, Moss was the runt and was knocking (or barking) on deaths doorstep when we arrived. Immediately Gary and I took to taking care of him. We bought milk replacement and fed him from a bottle and also introduced him to solid food. By the time we were getting ready to leave we knew that Moss had to come home with us. We also brought two of his sisters whom we found great homes for. Moss (so far) is the complete opposite from my big, lazy, ball obsessed, Ben. Moss is full of energy and is ALWAYS hungry. He is very vocal and thinks he runs the house. But he is also full of love and gives kisses all the time. He loves his big brother, and Ben is a good babysitter, always trying to keep Moss out of trouble in the yard.

After his 1st bath at Petsmart, hanging out with big bro Ben.

After lots of conversations with the Vets office, they reassured me that Pit bulls can be wonderful family dogs as long as they are brought up with rules, love, and lots of socialization. To make sure of this, we take Moss to the dog park a couple times a week and try to introduce him to as many people as possible. He has never shown any aggression towards a human but other dogs he has. So his dog park visits have been very beneficial, he even has a few friends that he loves to play with when we are there.

Moss a couple weeks ago, he looks brown in this picture but he is still jet black.

So this was a lengthy introduction...but I just needed to introduce our little "Moss-hole" (yup, that's what i call him when he gets in trouble)

Tomato Soup

2010-05-02T18:56:00.000-07:00

I've been watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution on ABC and it made me really think about what we are eating. Even before the show we have been trying to eat better, and I think we are doing a good job! But watching the show just reminded me about why we are trying to eat better. So I checked out Jamie's Food Revolution book from the library (I love it, so I'm going to buy it!). The 1st recipe I made from the book was tomato soup. I've never been a big fan of it, but I know Gary loves it so I figured I would try. To my surprise, I loved it, I ate the entire bowl (by it self!) usually I will only eat enough to soak up the bread! It is so much better than the canned stuff! In the book Jamie asks that the recipes be passed on, so I'm passing it on to the 3 people who read my blog ;0) (Mom, you can make it, it isn't that hard and doesn't take that much time)

Serves 6-8
2 carrots peeled and sliced
2 celery sticks sliced
2 medium onions peeled and roughly chopped (I used half of a large one, and it turned out good)
2 cloves of garlic peeled and roughly chopped
1 3/4 chicken or vegetable stock (I used 3 cans of chicken broth)
olive oil
2 14oz cans of plum tomatoes (I used the diced ones)
6 large ripe tomatoes, roughly chopped.
a small bunch of fresh basil (I used 4 leaves and a tsp of dried)
sea salt & freshly ground pepper

Put a large sauce pan over medium heat and add 2 TBSP of olive oil. Add the carrots, celery, onion, and garlic. Mix together and put the lid on askew. Cook for around 10 minutes until the carrots are tender but still keep their shape and the onions are lightly golden. Meanwhile, put the broth in a large pot, cover and bring to a boil. Add the veggie mix to the large pot, along with the canned tomatoes and the chopped tomatoes. Mix it with a spoon and let it come to a boil. When it comes to a boil turn it down to a simmer and cover for 10 minutes.

Turn the heat off and season with salt and pepper. Add the basil. Using an immersion blender (or you could probably blend in batches in a blender or food processor) blend until smooth. Season again and serve.

*I paraphrased the directions.

After adding everything to big pot.

I served it with garlic sour dough bread that I brushed with olive oil and toasted.

With fresh mozzarella.

Potato Gorditas

2010-05-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

Growing up my Nana always made "gorditas" (I really don't know what to call them in English, Gorditas, means fat girls in Spanish) with left over mashed potatoes. I look forward to these every time I make mashed potatoes I really don't have a recipe since there is always a different amount of left over potatoes but here is the gist:

Around 4 cups left over mashed potatoes
1 cup - 2 cups shredded cheese
salt
pepper
Minced onions and/or chopped green chili (optional)

2 eggs
1 1/2 tbsp flour
oil for frying (optional)

Mix the 1st 5 ingredients together and form patties.

In a bowl scramble the egg then add the flour and mix well (it will be thick)

If you want then fry the patties in about a 1/4" - 1/2" of oil (this is the way Nana does it).

Since we are trying to eat better, I wanted to omit the frying step and try to bake them, to my surprise they came out great!! Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and put the patties on there. Bake for 15 minutes and then turn the oven to broil and bake for another 5-10 minutes, keep checking on the gorditas so they don't burn! Take them out and enjoy!

Before I baked them. I used the cooling rack to try and make them crispier but the batter just dripped through, so I wont use it again.

Just out of the oven...and so yummy!

I can't remember who I said I would give this "recipe" too...so here it is for everyone to enjoy!

Bring out the hot-glue gun!

2010-04-21T20:28:00.000-07:00

I have ALWAYS wanted someone to give me a mason jar filled with something, then topped with fabric and a ribbon...no such luck yet. So for my dear mom-in-laws birthday, I decided that she needed this lovely gift. I decided to fill the jar with homemade taco seasoning...but the fun part was making the top of the jar!

After about 4 sticks of glue, it was done (yes I said 4, and it's a small jar).

She hasn't received my creation yet (along with some glue-free gifts). But my hubby was supportive and when I showed him my creation he lavished me with the same praise that a 4 year old gets after making a macaroni frame.

I am still trying to figure out if that's a good or bad thing.

But I did make her some awesome taco seasoning and I made it mild, just for her, so hopefully she will ignore the strings of glue all over the jar :0)

Onion Powder!

2010-04-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

If you read the title you probably think I'm crazy, you wouldn't be that far off...

But the other day I had an onion that was about to spoil, and I didn't have anything planned for it, so I brought out the dehydrator and made onion powder!

The onions after they were dehydrated, it took about 5 hours on 145 degrees.

The onions in my itty-bitty food processor.

The finished product. I am guessing I got about 2 TBSP of onion powder from one onion, so I will never complain about the price of a bottle of onion powder again! But I really do like the taste of my onion powder over the bottled stuff, the one I made just tastes onion~ier.

I got the "recipe" from here

Easter with Mom!

2010-04-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

Mom came to visit over Easter/Spring break. I loved having her here, it made having a sick hubby so much easier (more on that in a minute). Mom flew in on Wednesday night and stayed until Monday afternoon. On Friday we went to Temple Square, I have wanted to go there since I moved to Utah!!

It was cold, but sooo nice!

We were trying to get a picture of us with the temple in the background...I should have asked someone to take it for us!

The flowers at Temple Square are absolutely beautiful! We took bunches of pictures of them and sent them to my grandma, who loves flowers.

After Temple Square we went to Whole Foods, since I never go, but I love that store! I bought bread, olives, teas, and some other stuff...yogurt? Anyway, its all gone except for the bread. We also went to dinner in SLC. We had such a great day! I love having my mom here. So I'm on a mission, either she has to move up here or us down there...

So my hubby has had a cold for the past 2-3 weeks, so on Friday morning I went with him to the Dr. and he got antibiotics and a cough syrup.

innocent enough

About 10 minutes after taking the antibiotic Gary started throwing up

crazy projectile vomit

The vomiting continued Friday night and all day Saturday, in all of this crazy puke, not once did I fathom the idea that he could be allergic to the antibiotic.

I called the on call Dr and sure enough he said it sounded like he was allergic. At 10pm I was hauling butt to Harmon's to pick an anti-nausea medication.

Finally about midnight that night, he quit puking.

He is finally better...thank goodness!

So that was our Easter weekend :0)

Oh yeah, can someone tell me where spellcheck is on here? I haven't found it since blogger changed.

Shinin' the sink!

2010-03-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

Isn't my sink shiny? For about 3 weeks now I've been using Flylady's "flight plan" and Im loving it...the sink has been shiny and dish free for 3 weeks now!

Every night the dishwasher is turned on and I empty it in the morning...I can't believe how this small habit has made my house seem more clean :0)

This is the 1st of the Flyladys steps that i have adopted, Im looking forward to adding more to my daily routine. Is it sad that I'm excited to keep my house clean?

Dinner will not be served....at the dinner table

2010-03-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

Instead of buying all of our plants at a nursery this year, we decided to start our own! We bought those Jiffy seedling starter kits, some for tomatoes and some for regular plants (I guess tomatoes are the only ones that deserve their own starter kit?), seeds, and some brown paper looking pots for when they are ready to be transplanted. It's been fun watching them grow, but I think we may have gotten a little carried away....

We had to move the table next to the window so the plants could get as much sun as possible.

This is why we can't eat dinner at the table until mid-late May!!

My closets!

2010-03-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

I need to organize my remodel pictures, as well as take some of the finished rooms...forgot to do that! But here are the closets I am soo excited about!!

The beginnings of our new hall & the hall painted, and closets done!

It's been so long

2010-03-13T09:51:00.000-08:00

A lot has happened since January, well a lot has happened to our house. Were remodeling the basement! It's going to be great! The basement is already finished but there was this really long narrow room that was wasn't functional, so it ended up as a "storage" area.

We split the room into two and now its two smaller rooms plus we added a hall and two extra closets for storage! Each room has a 4' closet too! If you've ever been in our house you know there is ZERO storage room. So I can't help but be excited about all these closets!! Oh and Gary added cabinets at the top of the stairwell too!! Yay for storage!

The sheetrock is done, now Gary is attempting to do crown moulding in "my" room (I claimed one of the two rooms to do whatever I want to it! And I want crown mouliding!)

Pictures will follow soon!

We also agreed that this will be the LAST renovation we will do on this house!! I have waited for Gary to agree to this for a long time!

It seems like it's been forever since Ive blogged, not that Im great at it, but I enjoy reading what I write :0) And having a scrapbook of our life.

Like my new hat?

2010-01-28T18:35:00.000-08:00

I wanted to try a new craft and since I have failed time and again at real knitting, I decided to try loom knitting and I am hooked! I absolutly love my new hat which I finished tonight. I already started on a matching scarf (don't laugh).

where are my teeth?

2010-01-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

On friday I took a tiny blue pill and Gary drove me to the dentist...to get my wisdom teeth taken out!! I had 3 left (one was taken out in HS). 2 of the 3 broke while being extracted, I also got a cleaning and a filling while I was sedated. I just have to tell anyone who will listen to my complaining, how much this hurts!
I have tried to eat semi-soft food and failed, I am getting tired of protien shakes and applesauce. Hopefully I lost some lb's while on this insane diet. I think I have a dry socket in one of the incisions cause its the one side that wont stop throbbing!
Anyway, thanks for listening to my whining :) Have a great day eating normal food...think of me.

Florida!!

2010-01-26T07:24:00.000-08:00

Florida was so much fun! Gary and Dad did lots of fishing, Gary even caught a 4 1/2 foot shark! We also went to Tarpon Springs, it's where the boats dock that bring in sponges, it was a lot of fun. It's also a small Greek community and the food was so yummy! There were lots of small shops that we went into. I loved it. The weather was also great, it was in the 70's most days. Ahhh, I'm missing it again.

We got back from Florida on Tuesday. I was so sad the entire way home, even the night after we got back I was still bawling. I miss my Florida family so much. I loved spending time with my dad, sis, grandma, uncle, and my Ruster (my BFF)!

Me and Ruster (Stacy) deep sea diving...she forgot her gear.

Me and Daddy

Dad and a Jack fish

Gary and his shark

Check out all the pictures here, there are lots more!

New Mexico Trip

2010-01-11T16:26:00.001-08:00

The two women in my life who I admire and love the most! My mom and my Nana.

The three of us, I miss nights like this when we were all able to just hang out and goof around.

My birthday dinner with my mom, brother and fried ice cream! I look awful cause I just had gotten off a plane!! What am I talking about? I went on a makeup strike the whole time I was down there, so ignore my zits please.

My trip was wonderful, I love my family and I love spending time with them. Nothing makes you appreciate what you have until its not there anymore. I even had a great time with my brother I love him so much, Im just waiting for him to get out of his rebellious teen thing.

Craft time!

2010-01-11T16:17:00.000-08:00

Gary decided he wanted to make our niece and nephew their gifts for Christmas, the wagon for my nephew didnt really happen, but the caterpillar pull-toy for our niece Abbie did and I love it! He did all the hard stuff, all I did was pick the colors and paint a few blocks.

He drew some eye brows on after this and it looked kinda cute, but he made it a uni-brow! Caterpillar girl, definatly needs a touch up!
A menu board I made with Garys help :)

2009 buh-bye!

2010-01-04T18:12:00.000-08:00

2009 was full of ups and downs for us, thank goodness it was mostly ups!

We rang in the New Year at home, exhausted from a Christmas trip to New Mexico, then a work trip to Prescott, AZ for Gary to finish the job he was doing.
In February we found out we are dealing with two infertility obstacles.
Spent Easter with Gary's mom and sister
Work ended in May for Sam (yay!)
Sam headed to New Mexico for three weeks in June ( I had a blast!!)
Came home in July and we decided to try to concieve naturally.
Gary finished the porch!!!!
In August we spent our anniversary week in Yellowstone, we had a beautiful hotel room and had a blast!
Work started again for Sam, and a whole new set of challenges came up. But I have learned from them, so in the end hopefully I will be a wiser person(?)
October- Dr told us there was no way for us to concieve naturally :(
November - Gary turned 25 - Had an interesting Thanksgiving with Gary's family.
December - Saw an infertility Dr and he gave us hope!! (more on that in a later post). - We had a quiet Christmas morning at Garys moms house, breakfast was great! Then presents at his dads house. - Sam turned 25 (spent it in New Mexico with my wonderful family) - Happy New Year!!

Like I said, there were a lot of ups and downs, but overall I am so thankful for everything I have in my life, no matter what 2010 brings us, I know we can get through it.

Yummy Breakfast!

2009-12-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

Check out my yummy breakfast from this morning...Im actually just really proud of the picture. I've never seen pancakes look so pretty :0) I posted it on my other blog that I never post on...dunno why?

Raspberry Compote-ish

It's almost Christmas!

2009-11-29T21:03:00.000-08:00

I am so excited for Christmas! Were hopefully going to New Mexico and get to spend it with my family! Good food, Good company, and decent weather should make for a great trip!

We had Thanksgiving lunch with Garys dads family and then dinner with his mom and her family...I love my inlaws but nothing compares to a Barrera get together. There is always so much yummy food, and my family is all there...mom, brother, grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles are all there. There is always a great conversation happening somewhere, always someone laughing.

I might just be missing home a lot right now and thats why I am making it out to sound great, but I really do miss having a lot of family around. And I miss feeling like I belong to a family, does that sound weird? But I really dont feel like I fit in with my inlaws. I really do love them all dearly and enjoy most of them, but I always feel like an outsider.

Oh well, gotta make the best of it!

On Black Friday, I got a Cricut! Im so excited to use it, but since it's my bday present, I dont get to play with it until the end of December!

This was my random post about nothing really...I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!!

A hard Sunday

2009-11-09T20:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went to church with my mother-in-law. I am so thankful for her. It's super hard for me to go to church with out Gary, but he was working.

During RS someone asked me where my kids were...I wanted to say "In Heaven, waiting to come down" but I just said "I don't have any" she was certain I hadn't been to church in a while because I had a baby. I brushed it off and went on actually enjoying the lesson (weird for me cause I get bored pretty easy).

Sacrament meeting was the Primary Program, and they did an awesome job! But with every kid that went up to give his or her "talk" I wondered would I ever see my kids up there? By the end I was on the verge of tears and then they sang "Families Can Be Together Forever"...I lost it. I don't think anyone other than my mom-in-law saw though.

After sacrament an older gentleman asked me where my kids were (uh...again?) I told him I don't have any and then he said "You don't have any kids yet?" I had to tell him no, even though I wanted to say if I had a choice I would. He talked to me a little more then left. I thought my poor mom-in-law was gonna have a heart attack cause she didn't know what to say, but as always she made me laugh and I felt better.

I didn't think it would be this hard, I have actually been doing a good job convincing myself everything was just as it should be, and that I was ok with the fact that were not parents yet. Maybe I sort of am, but that was just too much for one day. I am so glad I went and in a way it really helped me see what I wanted out of life and that I need to get on a path and get there. I know that one day I'll be able to see my kid forget what he's supposed to say and sing off key over everyone else. But until that day, I just have to stay focused and trust that Heavenly Father will trust us to be parents one day, whatever way that may happen, it will happen.

Halloween-ish

2009-11-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

Halloween came and went this year. Were kinda bummed we didn't get to do more. But for some reason we have been extremely busy! We had more trick-or-treaters this year. I became the Halloween Grinch about 8:30 pm though, kids kept reaching into the bucket to grab more candy! After I had already given them a huge handful! For some odd reason this made me mad and I turned off the lights! Sorry if you came by and the lights were off.

Gary put together the awesome hand-less, foot-less, pumpkin head man. It turned out way better than we expected. We wanted to buy him boots, but I couldn't find anything cheaper than $12 at the D.I. And that seemed too expensive to just sit on the porch full of leaves.

I love it! Oh, some random news...Were going to Florida in January. Southwest had this awesome 72 hour sale and we were able to get tickets for $100 each way per person!! That is amazing, since we were thinking it was gonna cost us around $900. The flights are kinda crappy (2 stops) but only about an hour longer than a direct flight. Either way, I am soo happy I get to see my Dad, my family, and my best friend!!

Camo Everywhere!

2009-11-09T19:50:00.000-08:00

Duck hunting season is upon us and it shows! My house is constantly plagued by fake geese, ducks, and camo...anything. I wish Gary could get out and hunt more than he has been able too, he really enjoys it. I also wish I enjoyed it more... but he has all my love and support. Gary has had to work so much lately. I feel like I don't see him anymore, except to hand him his lunch in the morning and kiss him good night. He deserves some guy time. I hope he gets it soon.

On a related note: we belong to a trap shooting club! And I actually like it! I'm excited to learn more. The club meets on Thursdays and Sundays, we might have to switch to Thursdays cause in January we'll be back to afternoon sessions for church :(

The geese butts have heads, they are somewhere else in the house!

My favorite picture, the table at the door entrance has always been a catch-all for everything, but its taken on a new meaning lately... In case your wondering, that weird black thing is a duck call.

Soup please :0)

2009-10-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

Since fall is here, it's soup and stew time! Problem is, we can only eat so much chicken soup and beef stew (those are the only recipes I know and trust) so if you have some yummy soup & stew recipes please share them!

Im done begging ;0)

Fall is here!

2009-10-05T18:31:00.000-07:00

My favorite season is here!! I love the colors, the weather, the food, the activities...the only thing I do not like about fall is that it leads to winter, and it comes way to soon! We had snow this morning!! SNOW!! So I am asking Mother Nature to please keep winter away for a while and let us enjoy fall. After all, we were robbed of our summer by endless rain storms in May & June.

The cute blinkie thingy is courtesy of a great website called The Cutest Blog On The Block

Mom!!

2009-10-05T18:07:00.001-07:00

My Mommy was here!

She got here on the 30th and left this evening :( I am so sad, I already miss her so much. She is so much fun to have around, I love having my mom around, she makes me feel like I can conquer the world. All my troubles disappear when she's near. Also, Ben was in heaven with his new buddy. He's been sulking all evening and keeps going downstairs to see if she is there. I hope we get to see each other soon...I really really miss her.

Salsa!

2009-10-05T17:55:00.000-07:00

About 2 weeks ago we decided we should do something with all the vegetables in the garden...Salsa! So we started slaving over the cutting boards and stove.

About 8 jours later, with burning hands and watery eyes we managed to crank out about 20 pints and 7 quarts. It was really worth it cause the salsa is so yummy! We left 10 pints up stairs and 4 is all thats left. I don't think we made nearly enough to last till next summer.

A little beind...

2009-10-05T17:48:00.001-07:00

Weekend Drive

Sometime in the beginning of September we decided to venture off a dirt road on the way up to Monte Cristo I think the road was called Curtis Road (maybe) I could be totally wrong though. Anyway, After going in about 3 miles we found this place and totally fell in love with it. I attempted to take some pictures but I really need to invest in a good camera!

Spetember Scent & Warmer!

2009-09-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

Fall is just about here!

One of my favorite fall days is Halloween! Scentsy just came out with this adorable Jack O' Lantern warmer.

The scent of the month is Toasted Sugar Caramel...and it smells as good as it sounds!

Hurry and order yours, I'm sure the warmers will go fast!!

Click Here to check out my website.

Call or email anytime if you have questions, want to place an order, or have a party!

Having a home or basket party is a great way to earn free products.

The Warmer and Scent of the month are always 10% off!!

A day at the lake

2009-08-11T11:05:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday we took Ben to the lake for a swim. The weather was perfect! Ben had fun, I enjoyed getting a tan, and Gary fished. He didnt catch anything, it was too early in the afternoon for the fish to be hungry. I love these little family outings we have.

Ben waiting to go get his toy

Swimming back!

His dirty, soggy toy

Gary walked out into the lake cause he didnt want to lose his lure...well it broke off in the water so he got all wet for nothing!

Yellowstone!

2009-08-06T16:56:00.001-07:00

For our anniversary we went to Yellowstone! We stayed at a really nice hotel and they upgraded us to a suite...it was soo nice. I absolutely love it there! I want to move there and have a pet buffalo! We had a great time, took lots of pictures and learned a lot!!

Gary with Snaggletooth at the Yellowstone Museum.

Me in front of something steaming...I think this was part of the lower geyser trail.

My fancy anniversary dinner, it was yummy...wasn't worth $30 a plate though.

I love how the river runs through the geothermal stuff.

This was called Emerald pool (or lake?) anyway, it was so beautiful!

A pan of the lower geyser area.

My buffalo!

I named him "Jack". He was next to our truck!

Old Faithful

We were lucky we didn't have to wait long, maybe 5 minutes. But there were so many people there!!

An Elk herd near Mammoth Falls.

At our hotel in West Yellowstone, there was a section of the "Yellowstone Special" which used to service Yellowstone back in the day. It was really neat, they had the original bed with linens set up, original tables with the plates they used on the train! I wish I could post all the pictures.

Overall we had a great time and finally got to go on a vacation where it was just us. On the way home we went through part of Wyoming and I saw all these cute little towns. Makes me kinda miss home...a little lol.

FishFish swimming in heaven and other updates

2009-07-22T11:48:00.000-07:00

So I have been awful at taking pictures lately, so Im just going to give a quick recap of whats been going on in our 'excititng' lives.

FishFish died and went to fishy heaven while I was in New Mexcio. Im sad, and feel somewhat guilty because I wasn't a very good fishy mom these last few months of his life. Maybe he died of neglect? We had him for 3 years though, I guess thats a long time to live for a Beta. Gary forgot about him while I was gone for 3 weeks, so I think the poor lil guy starved. FishFish...may you swim in peace :)

We sold the chickens! Not that we didnt enjoy the fresh eggs, but the hens stunk so bad! We had a wave of rainy weather that lasted about a month. And during that time it smelled like chicken doo all over the place, if we opened the window it would stink, if we were sitting in the front yard we could still smell them! Gary said the lady that bought them knew nothing about chickens, but I hope they are in good hands. It's a lot cheaper for me to pay $3 for a dozen organic eggs then to buy $16 worth of chicken feed. So Im ok with this.

Its almost our anniversary!! Were going to Yellowstone for 2 days and sightsee part of Wyoming the other two days! I know everyone goes camping at Yellowstone, but I will be camping at the Holiday Inn! Gary wants to take the tent and sleeping bags just incase...I have a feeling we will camp at least 1 night!!

I joined a gym! And got a trainer! I have never been a fan of the gym, mostly cause I get bored in them. But having a trainer has made everything a lot more fun! I havent lost any weight. But Im sure it will come off soon enough. Having PCOS makes it hard to lose weight, so I think once my body figures out whats going on, things will take off!

Thats all I can think of for now...

Gluten Free cake at Starbucks petition

2009-07-20T17:47:00.000-07:00

I don't have a gluten intolerance, but I have a dear friend who does and it has changed the way she will eat for forever! So when I saw this, I thought it would be a good thing to sign and pass on for anyone who wants to have more options when going to a popular place like Starbucks, and maybe other places will catch on. Click here for more info on the petition. Here is some info on Celiac Disease. Thanks :0)

4th of July

2009-07-14T10:22:00.001-07:00

On the 4th, Mom and I went to Ruidoso and had a blast! I lost $20 at the casino though!!! Its ok I had a great time walking through downtown and remembering all the fun I used to have with my cousins.

Mom and I watching the fireworks

My Mom made a friend in Ruidoso

My last day in NM, we went to lunch with Nana & Papo. I miss them so much!

New Mexico

2009-07-14T10:02:00.000-07:00

I havent posted anything cause I was in NM! Ive been back about a week and I decided vacation time was over so I needed get some pictures posted! My moms cousin Chela had a surprise birthdya party and it turned out to be a blast!! The best part was seeing that nothing can slow my grandpa down! He just had shoulder surgery and he still got up to dance!

The Mariachis were great!

Victoria watching the Mariachis

Chela and her kids

My Papo and the birthday lady dancing!

Rockers & injuries

2009-05-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we went to Lowes to buy some furniure for the porch, it was a toss up between these rockers and adirondack chairs. I thought the rocking chairs looked way better on a porch and the other chairs should be in the back yard. Im glad we deicded on these cause we love them! They really make the porch look like a "porch". I just need to go get some small plants and pots to put on the tables. or maybe just one....either way. Im excited!!

Two weeks ago Ben jumped out of the back of the truck...while it was moving. He was so excited to get to his grandpas that when he saw we were near he jumped out! All we saw were legs & ears rolling down the hill. I jumped out of the truck to get him and to our surprise he started running to Garys dads house! He still wanted to play!! So he got kinda beat up, this is the worse, cut/scrape he got. But its still so yucky. I hope he's ok. (mom this is for you to see)

It tastes like a bagel, but.....

2009-05-21T17:34:00.001-07:00

Today, was a sad day. I failed at my first attempt to make bagels:(

I followed the directions to a"T" but my bagels are UGLY! (they do taste great though)

The directions said to "sprinkle" cornmeal on an ungreased cookies sheet...well Im now having to remove the bagels with a jack hammer, next time I will grease the cookie sheet!

After they rose for the 1st time...the dough was super sticky. Is it supposed to be? So this was the best I could do.

Who knew you had to boil bagels before you baked them? Yes the pot is bent, I dropped it, it still works though.

The final product! Yes, you can laugh. I am.

They do taste good though.

Hope

2009-05-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God"(Psalm 42:5-6, NIV).

Last night as I was checking my email, I got an email from my mom. It was simple, all it was, was this scripture. And it seemed to be the calm at the end of a trying day. I need to remember that no matter what trials I come across, I will never walk alone. He is always with me. Sometimes it is so hard to keep faith, but I know that there is a plan laid out for me and all I need to do is make good decisions and one day I will be able to have the family I want so badly.

I know that everyone has different trials and I pray that the times you feel alone, know your not. He is always with us.

Memories...

2009-05-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

I was switching memory cards on my phone and came across some pictures I had to share!

Over Christmas, my uncles convinced Gary he needed to eat fried pigs tail...yum?

Gary helping all the ladies make tamales...he claims his were better than ours! Pshhh

We got him back when he had to try Menudo (dont you love his expression?)

Ben at Halloween, I just love this picture! He was so happy cause he was at grandpas house, but he hated that costume! Oh well, he will be Yoda for many more Halloweens to come.

Its done!

2009-05-04T05:44:00.001-07:00

The porch is finished! The white stuff on the cieling is the soffit stuff I was talking about, Ben decided he needed to enjoy the porch as well.

My new blinds!! I got these at Lowes for about $11 a box!! I have always wanted plantation blinds. Granted they are not custom, but for $11 a box I couldnt pass them up (I was able to get enough for the whole house!!). Thats the view from our bedroom to the front yard.

Gary on the Porch

So now that project is done! Were almost done with the closet in the bedroom!! I promise one day, I will have more to post other than house stuff!

Painting the bedroom

2009-04-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

I should call this "The Elliott home improvement blog" since that's about all we do...but we enjoy making our house look good and when the time comes to sell hopefully we'll see the rewards.

We have been wanting to paint the bedroom since we moved in 2 1/2 years ago, but other projects took precedence. So this rainy weekend we finally got around to it! 3 of the walls are Popcorn Ball and the other is Riviera Sand

Excuse the mess, as of this morning, were still putting stuff back together.

Vote For my Bag!

2009-04-20T11:12:00.000-07:00

I "designed" a resuable shopping bag for Smiths. If my bag wins I can get a $1000 gift card for groceries!! So pretty please vote...everyday :)

Thanks so much!!

http://www.designareusablebag.com/vote-for-designs/bag.aspx?BagId=50&banner=smiths

Thank You Thank You Thank You Thank You :0 )

Easter

2009-04-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

For Easter we spent the day with Gary's Mom, Sister, & our Niece and Nephew. It was a small gathering, but we had a great time!

The video above truly touched my heart, there are so many issues that people are struggling with now a days, and this shows us that we arent alone in our struggles. Whatever they may be, I hope you dont feel alone, there is always someone with you.

"One of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so"
-Jeffrey R. Holland

A Porch Story

2009-04-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

Enjoy my attempt at a slide show!

The Porch is FINISHED! Well, almost...there is still some stuff that goes on the cieling part to cover the trusses, I think its called Soffit? Anyway, other than that the cement part of the porch will be tiled as soon as the weather gets better. And then it's done! Gary stained & sealed it yesterday and it looks fabulous! Its ready for furniture! Im ready for furniture, Iced Tea, and Summer!

Thanks Gary!!

Papo's 80th Birthday!

2009-03-26T18:21:00.000-07:00

On Saturday March 21st we celebrated Grandpas 80th birthday. It was such a joy to see everyone together. I hope everyone enjoys watching this :)

Draper Temple Open House

2009-03-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday evening we went to the Draper Temple open house. It was beautiful! It felt like the tour was a bit rushed and the screaming kids kinda took away the reverence part of it. But non-the-less it was truly beautiful and I feel very blessed to be able to walk through there and experience it.

The minute you walked into the Celestial room there was an overwhelming sensation that I wasnt the only one there (and Im not talking about all the other people in the room). Words cannot describe how I felt in there, it was very moving.

Sad to say, while we were in the sealing room, and I stood there looking into the mirrors with my husband, and I wondered if we would ever make it there. I felt a million emotions came over me, but mostly was sadness. But I have hope that one day we'll make it to the temple.

Ok my non-lds friends & family. If you are completely lost as to what Im talking about, just ask. I'll try to explain it.

I am DOMESTIC!!

2009-02-21T20:34:00.000-08:00

Why is this pillowcase so special? Well, I made it!! On my new sewing machine! I am so excited! Now it is no where near prefect...but its usable :) I have another yard, so I'll make a matching one. Then I have some more play fabric, Im hoping to get at least 2 sets done by tomorrow. Then maybe I can actually make "something". My sewing machine is AWESOME!! It has so many stitches...its way fun to play with!! Well I just had to share :)

Relaxing in the snow

2009-02-16T13:33:00.000-08:00

After a long walk and then playing ball for 45 minutes Ben was tired this afternoon! So he decided that laying in snow and eating it was better than laying in the warm house & drinking water. It was cute, so I had to take some pictures.

He made a little burrow to lay in

That's my fat boy

Do not mess with his snow!

Super Bowl XLIII

2009-02-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

We got together with Gary's mom, sister, step-dad, and the kids. There wasnt a lot of football watching going on, everyone was to busy talking and playing around. We did get to see the end though, and we were all disapointed the Cardinals lost.

Sarah (Gary's Mom), Gary, & Alicia (Gary's sister)
Kadden figured out that he can see himself on the camera, so this picture was one of at least 50 of him.
Winnie (Welcome to the family!), Moms new baby.

Abbi was more interested in frosting than anything else!

All the cake was gone so she found Winnie!
Mom's birthday cake and Kadden helping blow out the candles!
(Im not in any of the pictures, am I?!)

Our weekend trip 1/24/08

2009-02-04T10:38:00.000-08:00

On the 23rd we headed out to Prescott, AZ so we could pick up some left over materials from when Gary was working down there. Friday night the weather wasn't to bad, until we hit Beaver, UT. From there the road was really foggy, so we decided to stay the night in Kanab, UT. I LOVE that place!! I wish we could move there, it's so beautiful and small. We made it to Prescott the next day and Gary loaded up and we planned on driving back home, well again, as we were driving it got insanely foggy and we had to stay the night in Kanab (darn! lol). The next morning we headed home and it was the most beautiful drive! Here are some pics.

This is where Gary was in the accident before Christmas...he found his license plate!
A Tom turkey and 5 hens on a golf course in Kenab

The Lake Powell Dam The river that feeds into lake Powell, the canyons were beautiful!

almost 20 lbs!!

2009-01-19T20:46:00.000-08:00

So really quick...just weighed myself...Im at -19.2 lbs!! almost 20!! Of course that is since Sept. But its 20 less than before...woo hoo!

New Year

2009-01-17T15:02:00.000-08:00

Christmas came and went, we spent it in New Mexico with my family. I had a good time, sometimes trips dont go as planned though, I ended up disapointed, but thats ok. I'll make it up when I go back in March to have a Scentsy Party!!

I did get to spend my birthday with my family though and that was awesome!! We had lunch at EL TACO TOTE. I love the name! And the food is amaaaazing!

Gary & my cousin Criste

Me and CristeUs and Criste's baby Aylin

We also spent a few days in Prescott, AZ. It was really pretty. The best part of the trip was just being able to relax. We also stayed in Kanab, UT as a half way point between AZ and home. That drive was beautiful. I can't beileve I forgot my camera!!!

When we got home, we found our lovey baby waiting for us. He had been at the kennel the whole time we were gone and so happy to see us!! Here is a picture of him, that night sleeping with his new bunny.

We also tackled the project of redoing the back bedroom. The biggest chore was taking it from a storage room to a bedroom. We took the border down (this room was the previous owners nursery). We also fixed some holes in the wall and repainted...popcorn ball!! I have become very fond of that color. We also did the kitchen & dining room in that color. We will be painting our bedroom that color as well (I bought to much paint).

It's still a work in progres, but I like it so far :)

Construction is on hold, after being home a week I got strep and a bad ear infection. Those days Gary was working overtime while I was sleeping. Well luck would have it, Gary is now sick! The poor guy has a viral infection that has settled in his vocal cords and sinus'. He's miserable because there isn't anything he can take for it, except cough syrup. Soon enough we'll be up and running around again.

Fun & Family

2008-12-07T20:23:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving came and went! And here we are...Almost Christmas time. I wasnt able to get any pictures at Thanksgiving but it was a great time! Last night we went to Garys company Christmas party. It was kinda boring at first, but then they had us play this game called "snowballs" it was a lot of fun! I won court side Jazz tickets. Gary won luggage...lol its really nice luggage but still its luggage. After the party we went to Garys Dads house and we were able to meet Thomas' (Garys Bro) girlfriend. Her name is Amanda, she seems really nice...plus its nice to have another mexicana in the family :)

Me and Gary after the party...Im kinda tired.

My outfit for the party...this was after so all my jewelry was off and my hair was a mess!

Another one of us at Gary's dads house

Thomas (big bro) Grant (Dad) Gary (my hubby:)

Gary & Thomas

Thomas & Amanda

Gary comes home!

2008-11-22T11:59:00.000-08:00

I just talked to Gary and he gets home tomorrow!!! Its been 3 weeks!!! Ben and I are SO excited to see him!!

What to do??

2008-11-17T20:52:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is approaching fast and before we know it Christmas will be here! Were spending Christmas in New Mexico with my family this year...I am SO excited!

But I am torn...do I decorate the house for Christmas?

This will be our 3rd Christmas at this house (we moved November 4th, 2006). The 1st Christmas we had a little tree up and it was cute, but there were like 50000 little ornaments and it drove me nuts. I like big ornaments. Easy ornaments. I would also like to have a tree that has lights already on it, yes Im lazy but I HATE putting lights on a tree, nothing bothers me more than going around the dang tree a million times. But that kinda tree comes with a big(ger) than I want to pay for price tag.

So I either cough up the money and buy a tree and ornaments. Or just settle with my little tree on the coffee table. Im not putting up the one we had the 1st year, it drove me crazy! It kept falling over!

If you have any ideas let me know....

Halloween!

2008-11-11T07:26:00.001-08:00

Halloween!

We had a lot of fun that day, we carved pumpkins, raked leaves, then we went with Garys sister and helped take our niece and nephew trick or treating. We had a lot of fun!
Ben was Yoda!
You can tell he's not happy!
Gary & our niece Abby
His came out a lot better than mine

Playing ball in the front yard
More ball
This was mine...Gary said it looked like me :(
Abby is a happy baby!Kadden the fireman is tired of taking pictures!!

Our Routon Baby!

2008-11-11T06:53:00.000-08:00

This was fun to make!

You've all seen the commercials for the VW Routon Mini Van. Well if you go to their website you can upload pictures of who ever you would like and it "makes a baby" this is ours.

This is the link: http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/

Random Note: I am now down 9.3lbs since starting the Wii Fit. This is seriously the longest Ive ever stuck with an exercise regimen. I love it!

A little bit of fall!

2008-10-15T21:42:00.000-07:00

The snow finally melted and it feels like Fall is finally here!! So with Fall comes some more decorations, I'm not very good at this whole decorating thing. Mostly, I don't have time to try and see how things will look together.

Gary is really good at arranging stuff but he's out of town, so it's all up to me. So I wanted to share these pictures cause Im proud of my little accomplishments. The bobble pumpkin I got at TaiPan. I must say I love that store! I spend way to much money every time I go in there!!

That copper pot/vase thingy always gets different flowers with every season/holiday. So maybe I do keep up a little with decorating. The bowl on the coffee table also gets something new in it (I bought all that stuff at TaiPan too :)Gary is back out of town so its just me and Ben again. I took him to Petsmart for a bath, now he's shiny, smells good, and is relatively shed free for a few days.Ooh some good news...I am now down 5.2 lbs since I bought the Wii & Wii fit!! Not a big loss but I'll take it. School is insane as always...both schools, school school, and school work, the latter keeps me way more busy than studying. I never thought working full time and school full time would be this exhausting! I need to hire someone to clean my house!

SNOW!!

2008-10-12T08:10:00.000-07:00

This morning we woke up to snow! I cant believe it...it's only the12th of October!

But at least now I get to go buy new snow boots!! Although, thats not that excititng, there arent many cute snow boots.

A reason to like Utah

2008-10-11T17:42:00.000-07:00

I have been complaining about how much I hate Utah, well today, on my way to a roadside veggie/fruit stand, I realized that there are a couple things I like about Utah.

One: The veggie/fruit stands have my favorite fruits at different times of the summer. Cherries first, then peaches, then apples.

Two: Fall is so beautiful here, especially in the mountains. I love that I can look out of my living room window and see a mountain and how it changes every day.

Ok thats all I got so far...if I think of more, I'll have to add them.

Wii & Fit

2008-10-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

I have been searching for a Nintendo Wii since July. Well last friday I decided to call Walmart and see if they had any Wii's in stock. I was expecting to hear "no" and "we dont know when any more are coming in" but I was happy to hear that they had just recieved 15 and they would be out by 4pm. I made sure I was there at 3:30 just incase. Well I was one of 11 waiting for the Wii's to come out. So I finally got to hold my beloved Wii in my arms, I promptly paid for it and headed home. I called another Walmart to see if they had any Wii Fit's...they had 2 left. So I rushed there and got my Wii Fit.

Its all hooked up now, I like all the Wii sport games, but I love my Wii Fit, not only do I not feel like Im exercising, but its so much fun! I also like seeing my progress on the TV screen.

Im really glad I got it, I have already lost 2.6lbs from doing it every day. I'll try to update my pregress here on a weekly basis.

Just busy

2008-09-29T21:19:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to jump on here and tell everyone that life is crazy right now and we havent done anything exciting...well I lie...we did get the wood all stacked and neat. We also bought some stuff at Lowes to make life a little easier. We bought a lawn mower (one that I can start), a snow blower, some cedar fence for the garden and some lights for Garys projects (like he'll ever get to them!).

Im excited for my new lawn mower now I can mow the grass when Gary is gone, I couldnt start the old one. I'll have to take a pic of it :)

Work is hectic as always, but Im getting in the swing of things so everything is going good. I am behind on my school work though...and I have another test on Saturday!!

Today the battery in the truck died...Grant came and jump started it...I drove it to work...and it died again!! I had to call AAA and ended up buying a new battery...not a big deal, just a pain!!

Gary is working in Prescott Arizona until January. I will see him weekends though, so thats good. Except this weekend...he goes elk hunting.

Ok thats all I have for now, gotta get ready for bed!!

Logging fun!

2008-09-20T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well since gas prices are insane we thought we would try to conserve some energy and moolah by using our wood burning stove this winter. So we called the forest service and bought our firewood permit, $30 for 4 cords of wood. Little did I know that 4 cords is a lot of wood! A cord is 4x4x8 of stacked wood. We drove to Evanston, WY and we logged near Mirror Lake. Our first trip I almost got smashed by a falling tree, luckally I cant get those pictures to load. So were just sharing the pictures from when we got home. Our 2nd & 3rd trips we were very blessed to find a wood pile that the forest service had cut (yes, we were allowed to take it) so we loaded up and came home...then the fun began.

Enjoy the video!

(This is my first time ever making a video on the computer)

Camping Trip 08

2008-08-31T21:52:00.000-07:00

Here is a slide show from our camping trip.

We had a blast and came home exhausted,

I cant wait to go back and explore some more.

Yard Days

2008-08-31T21:28:00.001-07:00

This is what we do when yard work gets done, Gary works, I supervise, and Ben enjoys his day.

Ben getting a tan
Gary working on something
My Petunias
End of the day :)

Making life easy

2008-08-12T19:25:00.000-07:00

I bought the Swiffer Wet Jet today and I love it! I got it because our old mop has 'kicked the bucket' (I crack myself up). My sister in law told me about this a while back and I was hesitant to buy it cause I figured like everything else it would not live up to its claims.

Well I got it home, swept the floor, and started wet jetting! I love it! Its so easy and there is no bucket to lug around. My only complaint is that it left my hard wood floors streaky, but I think I can fix that by buying the wood floor solution they have. It doesn't replace, getting down on your knees and scrub kind of mopping but it works for day to day stuff.

I'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow, but because every one is confused about schedules, so I wont be going in until Thursday...one more day to relax...

Just kidding! I cant relax, I want to finish my paper tomorrow...so I'll be doing that all day. I really wish I had chosen an easier topic. My topic is 'Effective Methods for Teaching Children with Autism'. It's really interesting but its taking a lot of research.

Gary gets home on Friday (hopefully). He'll have to go back out of town the following week, but I'm so excited because after the 26Th he'll be done over there and I'll have him back home!!

The saying that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" really is true. Being away from Gary so much has made this summer hard, but its also made us realize how much we enjoy each others company and no matter what arguments may happen were still best friends, and we know we are meant to be together.

Update: 8/31/08
I also bought a Roomba robotic vacuum....its AMAZING! Roomba coupled with my Swiffer wetjet, have made my floors so clean. Roomba is a must if you have a dog that sheds and a life besides cleaning.

Bunny Love

2008-08-09T20:22:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share a picture of Ben sleeping with his bunny. Isnt he adorable?

We have Eggs!

2008-08-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

Our beloved chickens have started laying eggs. At least 4 of them have. Yay!!

These are the eggs I collected today, please excuse the dirt and chicken poo. I took the picture before I washed them off.

Aug 4th ~ Our Anniversary

2008-08-08T22:13:00.000-07:00

The night of our anniversary I flew in from New Mexico at 5pm. On the seat of the truck I found this beautiful tennis bracelet waiting for me. I don't think Ive ever gotten anything this nice, except my engagement ring (of course).

Well I failed in getting the better gift. I got Gary a straw hat and a hat case...not much fun huh? But he says he liked it.

After the gift exchange we went to dinner at Olive Garden...yeah not exactly romantic, but it was good and close to home...I was exhausted from my trip so I couldn't wait to come home.
Overall it was a wonderful anniversary. I'm so glad I'm married to this man.

Bens days

2008-08-08T22:08:00.000-07:00

Ben relaxing in his pool after playing frizbee with his grandpa

Such a cute baby!

One

2008-08-08T22:04:00.001-07:00

I figured it was time I start a family blog...not much going on. Since we dont have kids there wont be to much to say, but I'll try to keep it as interesting as possible.