Day 2

  I'm a little late posting about my second day.
 
  Things started out great when I got there and most of the day was pretty uneventful. Then came the test dose of the Bleomycin it was only 2 IU's. The reason there is a test dose to see if the patient has an allergic reaction (I guess lots of people do) my right cheek immediately flushed and was very hot to the touch, so then came the benadrly(sp) and renalyn (sp) drip. That knocked me out. So luckily I slept through out the entire bleo drip and didn't have to be awake to feel my cheek sear.
 
  Finally I got to go home, I decided yesterday morning I was going to cut my hair...short. So I got a short A-line bob thing, that I hate. But at least when my hair starts falling out it wont be terrible. I wont have to feel long strands of my once beautiful hair coming out in clumps. I will eventually shave it, but I'm trying to postpone that!

  People keep asking my how I feel, other than the side effects I guess I feel OK, I am sad about the whole thing, there is always a "what-if" to worry about. Mostly I feel like I'm a huge imposition on those around me. Gary is my angel and worries so much about me, but he's losing sleep and I don't like him feeling this way. I wish I could make him feel better.

I want to look for a blessing every day, even if its just a small one, and yesterdays was my nurse, Debbie, she made me smile all day and then gave me a hug at the end of my treatment, she doesn't know it, but it meant so much. So have everyone's hugs (bring 'em on!) they make me feel better :0)