Ring, ring, ring, ring.....

(I wrote this a couple weeks ago and just decided to post it. I wasn't sure because of the infertility stuff)

The ringing could and probably will go on and on....its a side effect of the Cisplatin, one of my chemo drugs. And of course I have to get one of the "rare" side effects that most people do not experience....ringing in my ears, which can lead to high frequency hearing loss. Im going to have to talk to my Dr about this before my next round of chemo. Hearing loss runs in the family and I really hope it doesn't happen to me.

Other than that annoying side effect, the usual ones are still present, my nausea accompanies me most mornings, Im still always tired, and super achy from the Neulasta shot.

One thing that has been on my mind lately is that of my fertility (or infertility). Since I have one ovary left the Dr said conception would still be possible (before chemo). Now, two of my chemo drugs can cause chemo induced menopause. I wont know for about 6 months if my remaining ovary has any function. My Dr has attempted to "shut down" my ovary by having me take birth control during my chemo treatments. She didnt sound very confident when we devised this plan but were hoping.

Im not really hoping that it still works just to concieve, but more so I can be "normal". Everything has been so abnormal and rare for me that it would be great to just have something go right. If I can't have my own kiddos, totally ok with that!! I've had more than enough adoption experience to know that "blood" doesn't make a family. I have a wonderful family and some of our brood is adopted. Im not looking forward to the emotional roller coaster that comes with adoption, but in the end it will all work out.