It's almost Christmas!

I am so excited for Christmas! Were hopefully going to New Mexico and get to spend it with my family! Good food, Good company, and decent weather should make for a great trip!

We had Thanksgiving lunch with Garys dads family and then dinner with his mom and her family...I love my inlaws but nothing compares to a Barrera get together. There is always so much yummy food, and my family is all there...mom, brother, grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles are all there. There is always a great conversation happening somewhere, always someone laughing.

I might just be missing home a lot right now and thats why I am making it out to sound great, but I really do miss having a lot of family around. And I miss feeling like I belong to a family, does that sound weird? But I really dont feel like I fit in with my inlaws. I really do love them all dearly and enjoy most of them, but I always feel like an outsider.

Oh well, gotta make the best of it!

On Black Friday, I got a Cricut! Im so excited to use it, but since it's my bday present, I dont get to play with it until the end of December!

This was my random post about nothing really...I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!!

A hard Sunday

Yesterday, I went to church with my mother-in-law. I am so thankful for her. It's super hard for me to go to church with out Gary, but he was working.

During RS someone asked me where my kids were...I wanted to say "In Heaven, waiting to come down" but I just said "I don't have any" she was certain I hadn't been to church in a while because I had a baby. I brushed it off and went on actually enjoying the lesson (weird for me cause I get bored pretty easy).

Sacrament meeting was the Primary Program, and they did an awesome job! But with every kid that went up to give his or her "talk" I wondered would I ever see my kids up there? By the end I was on the verge of tears and then they sang "Families Can Be Together Forever"...I lost it. I don't think anyone other than my mom-in-law saw though.

After sacrament an older gentleman asked me where my kids were (uh...again?) I told him I don't have any and then he said "You don't have any kids yet?" I had to tell him no, even though I wanted to say if I had a choice I would. He talked to me a little more then left. I thought my poor mom-in-law was gonna have a heart attack cause she didn't know what to say, but as always she made me laugh and I felt better.

I didn't think it would be this hard, I have actually been doing a good job convincing myself everything was just as it should be, and that I was ok with the fact that were not parents yet. Maybe I sort of am, but that was just too much for one day. I am so glad I went and in a way it really helped me see what I wanted out of life and that I need to get on a path and get there. I know that one day I'll be able to see my kid forget what he's supposed to say and sing off key over everyone else. But until that day, I just have to stay focused and trust that Heavenly Father will trust us to be parents one day, whatever way that may happen, it will happen.

Halloween-ish

Halloween came and went this year. Were kinda bummed we didn't get to do more. But for some reason we have been extremely busy! We had more trick-or-treaters this year. I became the Halloween Grinch about 8:30 pm though, kids kept reaching into the bucket to grab more candy! After I had already given them a huge handful! For some odd reason this made me mad and I turned off the lights! Sorry if you came by and the lights were off.

Gary put together the awesome hand-less, foot-less, pumpkin head man. It turned out way better than we expected. We wanted to buy him boots, but I couldn't find anything cheaper than $12 at the D.I. And that seemed too expensive to just sit on the porch full of leaves.

I love it! Oh, some random news...Were going to Florida in January. Southwest had this awesome 72 hour sale and we were able to get tickets for $100 each way per person!! That is amazing, since we were thinking it was gonna cost us around $900. The flights are kinda crappy (2 stops) but only about an hour longer than a direct flight. Either way, I am soo happy I get to see my Dad, my family, and my best friend!!

Camo Everywhere!

Duck hunting season is upon us and it shows! My house is constantly plagued by fake geese, ducks, and camo...anything. I wish Gary could get out and hunt more than he has been able too, he really enjoys it. I also wish I enjoyed it more... but he has all my love and support. Gary has had to work so much lately. I feel like I don't see him anymore, except to hand him his lunch in the morning and kiss him good night. He deserves some guy time. I hope he gets it soon.

On a related note: we belong to a trap shooting club! And I actually like it! I'm excited to learn more. The club meets on Thursdays and Sundays, we might have to switch to Thursdays cause in January we'll be back to afternoon sessions for church :(

The geese butts have heads, they are somewhere else in the house!

My favorite picture, the table at the door entrance has always been a catch-all for everything, but its taken on a new meaning lately... In case your wondering, that weird black thing is a duck call.